The Group Chat: Sometimes we glow

Failing sucks, full stop, nevermind failing on the world’s biggest stage. That’s exactly what happened to track & field Olympian Chari Hawkins at the 2024 Paris Games, where she placed last in the heptathlon.

• To close out Mental Health Awareness Month, we chatted with Hawkins about the August afternoon that went awry and everything that helped her face that moment with yes, plenty of tears, but also grit and poise.

Here’s the thing about Hawkins: She doesn’t view her last-place finish in the heptathlon as a failure at all. Hawkins’ Olympic journey is a story worth telling. Not because it went exactly how she wanted, but because it didn’t.

Hawkins making the 2024 U.S. Olympic team was a long time coming. She was this close to making the 2016 team and even closer to achieving her dream in 2021. Hawkins felt relief when it finally happened in 2024, especially since her success came on the heels of her worst event at the time, the dreaded 800m.

• “I remember crossing the finish line [and thinking] my goodness, I did it. And I just collapsed because I was so afraid before…[that] I did all of this work, and I was doing so good…and I was going to mess it up.”

• But she didn’t, qualifying for her first-ever Olympic Games at 33 years old.

The pinnacle of sport, there’s just something special about the Olympics. Hawkins was “never more joyous to be anywhere,” and she’s the first to admit she was feeling great heading into the first day of competition. So good that she started changing things.

• Before the high jump, Hawkins was meditating, a new addition to her routine. Because of this, she was still in sweats when her name was called. The result? She failed to clear the bar — a height she could jump in her sleep — three times, resulting in a devastating “no height.”

No one would have batted an eye if Hawkins withdrew. In the heptathlon, failing to score in one of the seven events is essentially Olympics ending because athletes can’t recover enough points to contend. With a last-place finish all but guaranteed, many opt not to continue competing in that meet at all. In fact, that’s the norm.

• When Hawkins reflects on that moment, she remembers asking herself: “What would 2016 and 2021 Chari want? They would give anything to be at the Olympics and no height…And so I needed to make sure that I went out there and finished for them.” Literal chills.

Buoyed by a strong support system of family, friends, and sports psychologists, Hawkins completed the five remaining events, showing poise and strength in one of the most heartwrenching moments of her life. It wasn’t easy: She “[sobbed] for hours,” but she’s grateful every day for the 2024 version of herself.

Failure is inevitable. As Hawkins said “it’s unfair to say if you need help because…we all need help. And so it should always be when.” Unlike the heptathlon, resilience isn’t a solo sport.

• As for what’s next, Hawkins has big plans for the coming years: training for a spot on the 2028 Olympic team, starting a family, or a foray into the Winter Games. Wherever she puts her energy, she already knows success is a mindset.